5 Things I Miss About Boston

In honor of the tradition (5 Things I Miss about TX, 6 Things I Miss about Helsinki) - here's the latest installment of what I've left behind...

1. My Hairdresser. I never understood people who went on about their hairdressers until I met Juletha. Ah, Juletha, who transformed my disobedient and ordinary do into glamour hair with a few swift swipes of her steady razor. Juletha, who brought extraordinary color to my dark tresses. She'd been trained in Bumble & Bumble salons and was a downtown salon lady until she had her son and wanted to work more flexible hours closer to home. Fate brought her to Green Tangerine in Burlington and then fate so cruelly tore us apart. *sniff*
2. A decent local paper. The San Diego Union Tribune hardly rises above the Pensacola News Journal in their content or lack of biased coverage. Its great to keep up with local issues and events, but their adoration of Qualcomm is not even slightly hidden as is their disdain of Nokia. Its tough to compete with the Boston Globe.
3. The lack of creepy crawlies. Its been warm recently and it seems the big black beetles, their hairy legged friends and other tiny critters are testing to see if Spring has arrived. Even though I grew up in Florida surrounded by a bounty of tropical bugs, they make me squirm -- and, I'm really trying not to so Peanut doesn't become as squimish.
4. Verizon FIOS. Oh how the lame and outrageously overpriced monopoly of Time Warner Cable here annoys me. And, don't get me started on the outages.
5. And, for the little ones: Ms. Gina's Little Acorns preschool that Peanut loved and the Burlington library which had a great puzzle, block and puppet playspace.

Hooking up with moms via Meet Up

If there's one thing I've learned from the three major moves I've made in the past three years, its making friends is hard work!

But, since having friends is so important to making a new place feel like home, there's nothing else to do than get out, get out, get out, get out. Having children has got to be the best way into many groups in the fastest way. You immediately have some common ground to start on and a topic than can easily wind you in and out of many areas of conversation.

Finding new friends via the web has been one of my latest ventures. The website Meet Up coordinates people around an interest or geography to find each other, plan meetings and introduce members to each other.

I've joined a couple of Meet Up groups in San Diego - some mom's groups in my suburb and a Dutch culture group. (The Finnish ladies have their own group coordinated via the fantabulous and information saturated San Diego Finns website.)

My main Meet Up group has 3 - 4 activities organized each week. Park playdates, lunches, outtings to local attractions and even birth story sharing sessions number among the events. When we're available, I make an effort to get us out to the Meet Up. Sometimes its a great event where I get to meet several moms. Other times, its a total dud because I can't find the members and after asking 5 -6 random people if they are here for a Meet Up and getting that oh-my-god-ewww-creepy-internet-lady look, I call it quits.


Still, I keep going knowing that friendships form only after many, many meetings. First, you have to become a familiar face, then, perhaps get to know a handful of people and eventually, you find your connection grows beyond just the fact that 'hey, we are both moms, let's chat about diapers, food, preschool, lack of sleep, where did you buy that stroller?!'

It all makes me love my lifelong friends just a little bit more :-)

Here we are!

I'm back! I've thought about my blog often, but never seemed to get myself in front of the

computer to turn those imaginery posts into text & photos.

I was a bit busy - we packed up and left Boston shortly before Christmas and having been settling into our new home in San Diego over the past month. This blog, like all other things for myself, have taken a back seat to finding new preschools, doctors, parks, insurance & service providers, libraries, grocery stores and friends for the little ones. It just all eats into my energy and will to do anything when I get a moment to rest.

Now, a month or so into this move, we seem to be finding our groove.

San Diego's a treat all around. Beautiful scenery, easy to navigate, good weather and a seemingly endless list of things to do. We're very happy to be here.

Blind dates

From "You know, there's a collegue of mine who knows someone you should meet....I think you two have a lot in common...." to personal emails with complete strangers from online forums to exchanging phone numbers at the library, I've never been on so many blind dates!

That is, until I became a mama.

You know how it goes, you agree a time & place to get together. That morning, you get yourself showered (not an everyday occurance!), fix your hair (also not everyday), put on some make-up and ironed clothes -- that are clean & match (sadly, definitely not an everyday occurance!). You get the babes into clean clothes, into the mini-van and head out to meet a stranger hoping that you will click so you can have future 'dates'.

I try to learn as much as I can about the blind date before we get there so I can think about some topics to discuss in case things fizzle. Sometimes, you don't have too much to go on.

Depending on who introduced you, we agree to meet in a public location (like the park) or even at one another's homes. You try to suggest a time when the little ones will be on their best behavior. "Oh, 10:00 am is great for us!"

Sometimes you get lucky and there's a sort of mama-magic in the air -- you have similar interests, child-raising perspectives, a sense of humor and the time flies. Its naptime before you know it.

Other times, you know within the first minutes, its going to be a loooonnng playdate. You struggle for what to say. You can't help but think "I would NEVER treat MY children like THAT". You try to keep your little ones away from all the hazards open in their home. You make up excuses "Oh, we have to leave early because she's got a bit of a cold coming on and I wouldn't want your little darlings to catch it ...." "I'll call you to set up another playdate" - but you never call.

Having moved as often as we now have, it takes a lot of energy & effort to find new friends for myself and Peanut & Tex. I find that I'm getting quicker at approaching mamas at the park and library. I've vowed to jump at every chance we get to go on blind dates introduced via friends. I think I've really developed my social abilities with the kids. Before, I've been more shy and content to just focus on the smaller group of friends I already had. I've been almost reluctant to try to meet strangers.

We've been very lucky and have developed several rich relationships from our blind dates. Only very rarely have we hit a dud.

With fall arriving, many local parenting groups are starting up activities and we're filling our calendar with events full of potential future dates. Now, I just need to work on my pick-up lines ;-)

3 Things I Love about the Boston area

1. Peapod! Back in the days of the Internet boom, I tried out the now long-gone Webvan and thought it was a marvelous idea back then. Sit at home, order your groceries online and someone brings them to your kitchen table!

Now, with two little ones and three flights of stairs between my car and the kitchen table, I think Peapod (BTW - a wholly owned subsidiary of international food provider Royal Ahold - the Royal part referring to the Dutch royalty) is absolutely one of greatest ideas of all time. I usually shop after the kids are in bed, pick a delivery time for the next morning and viola -- its as if little elves run up and down the aisles of Stop & Shop for me and magically bring it all home.

love, love, love peapod.

I also love that Trader Joe's and Wholefoods are found in nearly every community. From Coppell it took some work to get them, but now their treats are within easy reach.

2. Being near the water - We've been to the Atlantic shore several times and often stroll around Horn Lake to see the geese, ducks and swans.

3. Scenery & History -- Some places around here are just so beautiful and picturesque it hurts!

And, anyone familiar with American History surely knows places like Lexington & Concord where the Minutemen militia bravely fought the British. Well, I can go to Lexington & Concord any time - they are just around the corner. We've been to the Minuteman National Park - walked the very roads they galloped and seen the very taverns where they conspired!!! I'm a bit of a history nerd, so I think this is all very glamorous :-)

5 Things I Miss about Texas

1. Smooth rides on the roads and highways - Bouncy, bouncy, boom goes the car wherever we drive here! A pothole here, manhole cover there and then just indiscriminate lumps & bumps cover all the roads. Plus, in Texas, it was always pretty easy to tell when you were on an interstate, main highway, larger city street or in a neighborhood: the roads got progressively smaller and the speed limits dropped. Here you can be on a major thoroughfare, yet its path cuts through neighborhoods with cars speeding well past the posted 35 MPH.

2. Mothers Day Out! - No such wonders for moms around here. Really, no one has even heard of an MDO. Childcare centers and preschools abound - most offering full time care. A state guideline age of 2 years 9 months which delineates a preschooler & means a program can have a ratio of 10 children to 1 caregiver also cuts down on the number of programs willing to staff programs that require 1 caregiver to 4 children under 2. 9 months.

The costs have also been a shocker. In Texas, Peanut went to a 2 day/week, 9 am - 2 pm MDO at a church for $180/month and later to a child development center program for around $230/month. Here, roughly equivalent programs of about 4 hours/day range from $440 --- $600/month and up.

3. A friendly chat at check out - I know it sound cliched, but I don't mind a nice little 'hello, how are you? isn't it hot today? how cute your children are!' at the check out line at the store. We usually get a perfunctory 'hi', an occasional 'aw, the baby is sweet' and a rare "Aw, what the hell!? Are they nuts in the deli putting this label here?! Geez!"

4. Wild times at the library - Peanut, Tex and I have been going to the weekly storytime at the local library since we arrived. The first time we went the librarian in charge made a point of telling all the mamas not talk to their friends while in the circle. And, then in the dimly lit room, she began in a very hushed voice to sing slowly "open, shut them". If you listened very closely, you could hear other moms whispering the words to their children. After the song, it was time for a story -- and quietly, obediently the children sat in their mamas laps. The tempo never really picked up and the closing song had me wondering if we'd wandered into a commune. I now know its by Raffi, a beloved children's musician, but at first I didn't know what to think of the swaying and slow spinning.

For those of you who know Peanut, it may mean something to hear that she was the wildest & loudest one in the room racing around me in circles, laughing as she danced.

Back at the Coppell Library, storytime was a social affair for all and sometimes even totally Out of Control when the Kindermusik lady arrived with her instruments and soaring operatic singing!

I appreciate that the library is a quiet place for enjoying books and have come to enjoy the storytime in all its mellowness. It means Tex can come along and not be overwhelmed by the noise and action and that Peanut leaves satisfied for singing, dancing and hearing stories, but not totally wired.

5. Our Friends, Ms. Kim and our little-bitty backyard.

Oh, give me a home.....

...any home, just a home, please!! We've been searching for our new house nearly non-stop since we arrived a month ago and I'm at the point of just saying 'Yes, yes, we'll take it whatever the price -- please just make the home tours stop."

House hunting can be a overwhelming process for anyone, but with a toddler and infant along as further opinion makers it can quickly wear down the most fervent home shoppers. Though Peanut and little Tex have been just as patient and spirited as you could ask. Peanut often asking in the mornings if she could "see houses with Mr. Tom" that day, and then exclaiming "nice yard" or "big house" when we pulled up to the next property. Tex -- well, most of the time he just slept as we carried him up and down staircases.

Going from the new housing developments of Texas to the older, wilder housing of New England has been a jolt. My punch list for homes has come to include such local particularities like:

• lead paint - if the house was built before 1978 (or in the years shortly thereafter when builders and stores still were depleting their paint supplies), there's a good chance its there
• mold - our inspector says 30 - 50% of homes here will have mold in the attic or basement. Some kinds can be re-mediated and your home certified "mold free".
  

• septic systems - for houses not on public sewer (which btw limit the use of garbage disposals)
  
• basements and sump pumps - basements are expected here. Some are finished (ie, just like upstairs living space), some half-finished (maybe have a floor and some wall panels) and others are just concrete
  
• capes (see top photo), colonials (second photo), split-levels (third photo) and ranches - the main housing styles
  
• well water - for houses not on the public water system
• radon - a cancer-causing radioactive, invisible gas emitted by the granite in the ground. Radon tests are done for air and water. If high levels are found, you can install a radon mitigation system.
  
• oil vs. propane vs. natural gas vs. forced air vs. electric heating - oh, the options! Electric is expensive, natural gas requires access to a city gas line, propane & oil are delivered to a special holding tank at your home and forced air is what I'm accustomed to. On the cooling front - most homes we saw don't have central A/C and rely on window units given....
• 110 v. 220 circuit breakers - your home has at least 220
  
• how to count parking spaces - many homes don't have attached garages or they just have one. A surprise considering the snowy winters when I'd imagine EVERYONE would want a garage. House listings describe parking by counting how many cars fit side-by-side in the driveway in front of the house or just offer off-street parking.
• noise pollution - after the first few days out we learned to look up addresses on the map to check for proximity to major interstates, highways, railroad tracks and busy thoroughfares since older housing is not in subdivisions built away from traffic.
  

Shown around Boston by New Yorkers

Memorial Day weekend we headed into the city of Boston to take a tour as some friends from New York were in town.

We loved it! Boston is a very green, open and walkable city. The NYers compared as the "country-cousin" of the Big Apple.

The sidewalks even had enough space to roll with our Baby Truck comfortably. When Peanut was done sitting, she could easily walk along side us without getting trampled or underfoot of the others.

Though this being a big city, Baby Trucks were not the hot, hip strollers. Virtually every family rolled with a Bugaboo or Maclaren.

We walked up Newbury Street with its fashion boutiques and restaurants to the Boston Common. On through the Common by the Swan Boats and the Frog Pond before looping back.

The next day, we checked out a small part of Cambridge and had a lovely brunch outside the gates of Harvard University. Cambridge is a world unto itself with leafy boulevards and unique home fronts. The streets were filled with a younger crowd - though we certainly weren't the only ones with little ones along.

New England - first impressions

Just some quick photos snapped out of our car window as we've explored the area in NW Boston and just across the New Hampshire state line in towns like Windham.

Certainly New Hampshire makes you believe the area could have been New Scandinavia as well with its granite rock lined highways , abundance of silver birches and greenery.

Or, New Netherlands with the rainfall we saw over the weekend!

Whatever you call it, it is beautiful up here. Everything in nature is still so green, so tender and so bright. Roads wind through the towns big and small making it necessary to be an active driver, but always giving you a new view around every twist. Many, if not most, towns still maintain a center established decades (if not a century!) ago around a white clapboard church with its soaring steeple, matching - yet modest - town hall and more recently added police station, fire station and library. It also caught our eye that many towns also had their own VFW (Veteran's of Foreign Wars) hall among the official buildings.

The majority of shops and businesses in the towns carry the names of their owners rather than that of a large national chain. Not that you can't find a Wal-mart, Target, Walgreens and so on, but they don't own every street corner. One exception to the rule is Dunkin' Donuts which has absolutely cornered the dough nut market here. If its a dough nut, bagel or hot cup of Joe you need, worry not! There is a DD just down the road - no matter where you are! Over the weekend, we had to see what the fuss was about and picked up our own 6-pack of DD. Good stuff :-)

While we miss the immediate warmth & a smile a Texan shared with you when you met them, I've run into many friendly people on my trips around town. Of course, there's nothing like a baby and a toddler in tow to get a stranger to talk to you, but I would say I've found the people around here open and helpful one on one.

Virtually connected already

Making our move, I have to wonder where would I be without email, google, websites, online forums and the Internet in general. I think I'd be anxiously awaiting the arrival of the postman every day hoping for an answer to a letter I had written weeks ago, trekking around town to find the library and settling in to our new home much more slowly.

Thanks to all those things electronic and digital, I landed in Boston armed with a an email inbox full of hints, pointers and people who could help us find our way around. There's the college friend married to a Harvard Law grad who put in me in touch with many of his school friends -- several who graciously offered to answer my many questions; the Dallas playgroup mom who relocated to Boston with her family a year ago; the Boston friend of a friend who now lives in Helsinki; the local list from Mamasource; the Boston Finns group; the Babycenter board; and the local city websites listing times for library story hour and mapping out the best playgrounds. In less than a week, I feel like I already "know" so much about the area and certainly do not feel so alone even if I haven't yet made many face-to-face connections.

We're New Englanders now!

When I started this blog, I never imagined we'd go hop-skipping so quickly from place to place! It was already a big undertaking to move from Helsinki to Dallas to become Texans, but here we are - less than two years later - calling Boston our new home.

Our move this past weekend went as smoothly as it possible could have. It'll be difficult to ever have to move without the support of a relocation company and program!

We said farewell to our house in Coppell Thursday morning as the packers came in and began boxing our belongings. We all headed over to the Gaylord Texan resort for our last nights in Texas. It was the ideal place with a chance to stroll past miniature versions of all the Texas highlights - the Riverwalk from San Antonio, the Alamo, the canyons we never got to visit and just the grandeur of this big state.

Friday, a big rig parked in front of our house and the movers began filling it up. Our two cars were loaded on into a tunnel between the boxes to make their trip northward.

We flew out without a hitch from DFW. In fact, compared to our first attempt to fly with Peanut & Tex, this was a cake-walk! I had virtually five people helping me and the little ones through security, the ticketing agent smilingly accommodated our seat change requests and we easily boarded the plane first. We were situated in the very rear of the aircraft in two&two seats in our own mini-section as the rear galley was in front of peanut and papa. They had their own bulkhead while tex and I relaxed behind them. The roar of the engine had a soothing effect on the little ones as they BOTH slept nearly two hours of the 3.5 hour flight.

Boston welcomed us with clear skies and brisk temperatures. Our drive out to Burlington gave us a quick glance at the harbor (WATER!!!) and a view of the city skyline. We're looking forward to exploring it all.

6 Things I Miss About Helsinki

We've been in Texas now for nearly 6 mos and we've had a terrific time so far.

However, there are few things I wish we could import from Helsinki -
1. Local buses with free passes for babies. Peanut gets ferried around by car most of the time now, but several times a week we still stroll. Sometimes we stroll too far - Peanut gets hungry, mama gets tired or its suddenly much later than it should be. Those moments I long for the awesome public bus service that was available to swiftly and comfortably -- did I mention FOR FREE -- take us home.
2. Coin operated shopping carts In Finland, in order to get a shopping cart, you must insert approx 50 cents - $1.00 in a slot on the shopping cart. This deposit releases it from the chain-system attaching it to other shopping carts. Where this system is really fantastic is that EVERYONE returns their shopping carts to the cart corral because you want your $$ back. This crosses my mind everytime I dodge a shopping cart parked in the middle of the parking lot at Kroger, Tom Thumb, Wal-mart, etc, etc
3. Only mildly violent TV programs. I didn't realize the difference in TV programming until we moved back. Sure, Finland has its share of violent TV, too, but its alot less prevalent. You do trade it out for more sex and nudity, but I'd take explaining that to Peanut any day over death, shootings, fist-fights, stabbings, blowing this that and the other up.
4. Delicious drinking water directly from your tap. No filter needed. It just comes in tasty as can be. Our Brita filter now takes care of it for us here.
5. Subsidized natural gas and electricity. We usually paid around $25.00 every FOUR MONTHS or so for our gas and electricity because it was so heavily subsidized by the State. In reality, we paid for the gas and electricity in many other ways through the high taxes. After gettting our first few bills here in Texas -- Yikes, talk about sticker shock. However, in a country as northern as Finland, its a neccessity not a nicety that everyone is able to stay warm. Plus, as a socialist state, priority number one is to ensure that the community is taken care of.
6. Total REAL online banking system. Nordea bank (and any other large bank in Finland) offered a true online banking system. We had no checks - all payments were scheduled and made electronicly, even when you paid your friend back the 5 EUR for a cup of coffee. Now, I've got a stack of paper bills, envelopes, my checkbook, stamps and return address stickers to coordinate. Plus, I have to remember to pay my bills on time! :-(

Its just me, Peanut & the cleaners, yard workers, cable guys, fencebuilders ....

It's about 10.00 am and Peanut & I are out for a stroll around our neighborhood.

I'm really happy that our neighborhood has sidewalks on all the streets, not just the main parkway and we have easy access to the extensive jogging/fitness trail that runs along Denton Creek.

The weather here in Dallas has been superb. A very unusually warm winter filled with sunny days makes it easy to get out to enjoy the fresh air.

But, it sure is quiet.

I mean, really quiet. As in we are the only ones out walking.

The only other people I see as we cruise the blocks are crews with leaf blowers cleaning out the yards, a couple of cable guys digging in the ground, the occasional plumber/electrician truck and what I guess to be the cleaners. I guess they are the cleaners as they park in front of the houses in much smaller cars than you usually see driving around here. Its very popular to have a 'back alley' where owners access their garages, leave out the trash cans, etc. So, when I see cars parked out in front along the curb during the day, the assumption is that they belong to someone not living there.

The scene is very different around 3.00 pm. Suddenly, mini-vans, SUVs and other family transporters appear from the back alleys or pull up in front of homes to discharge school-aged children. There are even small groups of boys or girls (not yet at the age that they would mix!) riding bikes, kick-scooters or skateboards down the block and jogging path. Its very nice to see the neighborhood come to life.

Though I'm left to wonder where are the other little babies? It can't be that Peanut is the only one around here! Maybe they are on a different schedule and I've yet to spot the baby-strolling time slot. Maybe their mamas have to work and most babies are in daycare? Maybe they just don't stroll??

Finnish connections in Dallas

Its no surprise that the Dallas area has an abundance of Finnish families. The Irving/Las Colinas area is home to the US headquarters of Nokia which also lured several of its suppliers to set up shop here. There was a large influx of Finnish expatriates about 10 years ago, but the steady stream of new ones is more than a trickle.

While the families have settled in many communities, the city of Coppell has been particularly attractive for the Finns. There are a number of reasons:
> Its right down MacArthur Blvd making the commute to the Nokia offices 15 - 20 minutes on average
> The Coppell school district is recognized as one of the top in the North Texas area meaning you don't have to send your children to the expensive private schools
> Coppell is a very nice area
> And it comes highly recommended by the many other Finnish families living there - you may even find yourself neighbors!

Maintaining ties to Finland remains important even for the families who have decided to make the US their permanent home by becoming green card holders or even citizens. Language is a key element of the identity and to help pass it along to children, the North Texas Finnish Language School is here to help. They meet in one of the Nokia office buildings and the font on the homepage is suspiciously similar to the Nokia font!

They even have a class for 0 - 12 mos olds which Peanut & I may attend once we have some free weekends.

For the ladies, there is the Suomalaisten Naisten Yhdistys or Finnish Women's Club. I've joined the mailing list, but haven't yet made it to any of the meetings.

A subgroup which Peanut & I have been active in already is the Mammakerho which is informerly run by a volunteer mom who organizes activities such as playdates in the Puupuisto of Coppell, a Halloween afternoon, etc. Its been a great resources for doctor's references and many other questions.

Our new home on the Prairie

Last month, we packed up our belongings and made the move to Texas! Peanut's Dad was offered a job transfer and we were excited for the opportunity to sample life in the US.

So Peanut's blog will take a bit of a different turn. I'm not yet sure what the angle will be, but expect to learn more about a Peanut in transition, how we adjust here and continued views about babies and related stories.

For now, we are enjoying the warm sunshine, endless prairie skies and chirping crickets.