As different as night & day

A very late night and a very early day that is.

Peanut takes after her papa and is a night owl. We've always had her bedtime around 7:30 - 8:00 pm so she gets enough sleep and we get a chance to spend some quiet time in the evening. Though were it up to Peanut, she'd be bouncing around until well past 10 pm. Now, I know why it was so tough for us to get her to bed peacefully when she was a baby - she just wasn't ready to go!

Lately, she's built up her arsenal of stalling techniques and usually isn't in bed until around 9 pm! First there's bath time. Then after racing around naked for a while, she selects a nightgown. Then she wants to "play for a little bit". Recently, she's started asking for an evening snack. This to be followed by stories - "only 5 books tonight mama" she imitates Olivia the pig. Then, its potty time which usually requires her to go through another book. With that over, its time to brush and floss her teeth. Well, finally into her room and in bed! Then its "I need fresh water". Followed by "tell me the belly-button story" and finally good night.

In the meantime, little Tex has shut-down when the clock struck 7:30 pm. If mama & papa are not watching the time in the evening and we are all still downstairs after 7 pm, Tex has been known to head for the staircase himself and start to go up cause he wants to go to bed. He can barely keep his eyes open after bath time and we only on the rarest occassion hear a peep (OK, in his case, banging on the wall) of protest. He's been that easy to put to bed since the very first night he was home from the hospital. I remember being so amazed that he didn't need anything to settle down.

But, come 6:00 am, Tex is raring to go. While going to bed was a dream, waking up has never been pleasant. Tex basically turns on - opens his eyes and mouth to start screaming right away. Even though I'm a morning person, this has been one of the most difficult transitions since he arrived. There is nothing gentle, forgiving or relenting about his wake-up yell. It demands you wretch yourself from bed immediately and see what he needs. Plus, we know Peanut is not a morning person so we want her to sleep as late as possible.

Tex isn't one for cuddling with us in bed. We try to bring him in in hopes gaining a few more minutes of rest, but he's interested in banging on the window, wiggling about and getting us downstairs to get him breakfast -- NOW!!!!!!!!

Sweet Dreams

With Tex on the way, we decided to move Peanut out of the crib as everyone recommends doing that well in advance of a new baby's arrival and move into the crib.

So, this past weekend, we went headed out to IKEA to test out beds. Fortunately, Peanut was as excited about a toddler-stretching bed as her parents. In toddler mode, its slightly longer than her crib with much more side-to-side flipping space. In full-length mode even I was able to lay down comfortably in it. This style had the bonus of have very low railing on the sides with a small toddler-sized entry slot.

Our biggest concern though was Peanut wouldn't want to stay in her bed. Yesterday as she climbed in for her first nap, I tried laying down next to her to show her it was time to sleep. Soon little fingers pried my eyes open and I had a small hand waving in my face. "Bye-bye mama," said Peanut giving me a rather insistent nudge to get out of her bed.

Five minutes later, Peanut is standing at the door. "Oh-o," she says and pulls me in to her room by my hand. She points out that all her stuffed animals had climbed out of bed! We put them back, put Peanut back and mama leaves again. We do this about four more times. Then, its quiet in there and Peanut has fallen asleep.

In the evening, papa & mama escorted Peanut to her room. She climbed straight into her bed, turned back and leaned out so we could kiss her good night. That was it. She drifted off to sleep and we didn't hear from her until morning when she called for mama as usual.

When I went to her room, she again said "oh-o" pointing to the little gap in railing to show how Witch had gotten out of bed.

The KELA Box - one year later

Peanut's birthday is approaching! Our little one is nearly a year old -- and so is her mama's blog :-)

Looking back, we are both much wiser, calmer and confident in our parenting. Peanut is just amazing - a year has brought so many changes and so much growth.

And, our KELA box (the baby starter kit given by the State government to all new mother's in Finland - though it means so much more) has been with us through it all, starting out as Peanut's first bed. Where is it now you wonder? Stacked up on other boxes in Peanut's closet, filling up with clothes that too small and toys that are no longer interesting. Unfortunately, we lost the lid in the move (though the rough&tough packers in Helsinki did take an extra moment to ask me if I wanted to bring it - mind you, they did not ask about ANYTHING else in the whole apartment!!)

What about the contents? Let's take a quick look.

Still in use today:

• cloth diapers - as sunshade on Peanut's stroller and washclothes
• bath towel with hood - best towel we have, still fits Peanut, soft!
  
• bib - lightweight yet water resistent (not quite proof) , good for meals on the go
• 'changing cloth' - not sure what the material is, but its water proof on one side, we use it for diaper changes on our bed
• hair brush
• nail clippers
  
• book
• rattle - good for teething and shaking
• the Box - for storage

Very useful:

• the diapers
• bedding - mattress, sheet and blanket fit the box perfectly
• thermometer for bath - unfortunately we lost it during the summer
• Baby guides - I used the breastfeeding guide the most
• some of the clothes though I almost took the size 60 out too late. I was a bit surprised at the poor quality of the buttons (came off in the wash) and how much they shrank in dryer (OK, they were cotton so probably not that big of a surprise). Peanut used the bodysuits with legs and one-piece crawler outfit the most.
• woolen socks
• And we also used up the sanitary napkins, breast pads and condoms (this year they've also added a lubricant - luckily new moms)
  

Hmmmm:

• What I thought was the sleeping bag or travel playblanket, but really was a stroller bag to keep baby warm -- we had two of these. I used them as playblankets on the floor until Peanut got too big.
• Baby lotion
  

We didn't use:

• the winter outerwear outfit + hat, gloves, etc - since we were moving to Texas, I donated this to children in the Baltics
• lighter outerwear outfit - ditto
• hats - ditto, plus Peanut hated hats as an infant
• wrap-around body suit - too difficult with all the little strings
  

And for those out shopping, here's a list of what to buy.

Sleep and No-sleep, Again

It seems like the endless story - this month, Peanut sleeps poorly; next month, Peanut sleeps well. In the meantime, papa sleeps as Peanut sleeps and mama usually just sleeps here & there. I asked Peanut's Grandma the other day when would she start sleeping consistently well and she told me "oh, sometime before she goes to school!".

Since Feb, Peanut had a strong case of separation anxiety that naturally flared up in the evening. I couldn't bare to hear her cry so desparately so I began snuggling her down, holding her in my arms until she was asleep and then attempting to deftly, silently, smoothly lower her into her crib. Sometimes it all went well. Often that last inch before the mattress her eyes fluttered opened followed by a big wail. Back to the chair we went.

Then, she began waking & crying at night. Papa would bring her to our bed and we'd all snuggle down for the rest of the night. Often I thought it was the sweetest thing to have our whole family in bed together. But, when Peanut couldn't settle down or got comfortable in a position that left one of us hanging off the side of the bed, it wasn't so nice.

This week, it was time to try "sleep training" aka a bit of crying. Wednesday was horrible. Mama cried and could barely sleep herself. I went through an on-going inner debate of being there for Peanut when she needs me and helping her to fall asleep on her own (but she's only a baby!!!).

Thursday, we tucked Peanut in with Pooh Bear and the cries quickly faded away. Today, there has hardly been a whimper.

Maybe Peanut just needed a little friend to share the bed with her.

Breakin' ALL the rules

Yes, that's right, we broke all the rules of baby sleep over the Christmas/New Year's holidays. Guess what?! It didn't mess up Peanut's sleep program. She didn't turn into a n overly dependent baby who couldn't sleep alone. No, as a matter of fact, everything returned to normal very quickly.

Now, what was this extreme situation that we were in that drove us to abandon all the guidelines about babies and sleep. Grandma, Grandy, Nana and Oma & Opa - that's what.

Peanut was sooo overly excited about spending Christmas with her grandparents in Florida that she could hardly sleep. She was in a travel cot next to us in the same room. Peanut usually went to bed on time and without much fuss. Though I did often 'milk her down' to make it easier for her.

Then she would start waking up around midnight. We tried letting her cry a bit to settle down. Nothing doing. She was awake, standing and looking right at us.

That's when we went for the drastic move of bringing her into our bed/onto our air mattress. She loved it. Peanut snuggled in papa's armpit or on mama's chest, suctioned in her little thumb, let out a happy sign and was off to dreamland. We then moved her gently into the space between us for the night.

We'd never co-slept before so the first night I was very conscious of her little body next to mine. I awoke several times to make sure she was still on the bed and not stuck under the pillows, etc.

It was so nice to wake up in the morning next to the angelic face still deep in sleep...so warm, so peaceful.

After the last set of grandparents left after New Years, we thought we were going to be in for several nights of crying and struggling to get her back to sleeping on her on.

Nope.

The very first night she slept soundly in her own bed in her own room.

Peanut's mom suffers separation anxiety

Peanut is already a little over 8 mos old and for the first time last night slept in her own room. And slept, and slept. Peacefully through the entire night: 7:30 pm to 7:00 am.

Peanut's mom, however, slept a little less restfully being separated for the first time...

We've always put Peanut in her own bed from the very beginning. its just that her bed was initially at the foot end of ours or then just a few feet from our bed. For the first few months when peanut was eating every three hours or so, it was a real comfort for me to be able to quickly reach her, feed her in our bed and then put her back to sleep in her own. Plus, I could always hear her breathing or rustling about and those sounds were reassuring. peanut was OK.

During the past 2 mos, we've slept in over 4 different places - our apt in Helsinki, a couple of hotels, the corporate apartment in Dallas and now, finally, our own home in Texas. I felt it was a lot of stirring about and thought it would help ease the tension to keep this milestone for another day.

As I posted earlier,
we were having some sleep problems.
Peanut's dad got an earful of advice at the office yesterday about how babies will cry as long as they know their parents are nearby, especially if they can see them. So, on the way home, he picked up a
Fischer Price private connection dual receiver baby monitor
We set it up last night and rolled Peanut's bed in to her new room.

At bed time, we moved from the bath to her room for evening milk with mama and then the bedtime story and snuggle with papa. After that, she was out like a light.

I woke up a few times during the night as peanut did some light and short crying. It was nothing like the long and pained crying she had been doing in our room. Last night, she always settled back down and it was again silent. Neither one of us had to go to her once during the night. Again, unlike the hour or so I spent the previous night hanging over her crib trying to get her to calm down.

I really like the monitor system already. During her morning nap, I was sorting out the closet when I started to hear her get up and was able to get to her before the serious crying began.

Sleeping like a baby - HA!

Peanut is now about 7 1/2 months old and we recently had to make another concerted effort at getting her to bed in the evenings and to sleep through the night. Back at 10 weeks or so, she slept through the night for the first time and did so for several months.

When we moved to Dallas, there were several nights of adjusting to the new timezone. The advice i read was the babies who are breastfed should be fed when they wake during this time. So I did. Peanut was waking maybe 1 or 2 times a night.

But, then it continued. Every night she would wake up at a random time - sometimes 2 am, sometimes 4.30 am - crying, crying, crying. We couldn't bear to listen to her cry so we'd bring her to our bed for a feeding. Which ALWAYS put her back to sleep.

At her recent well-baby visit, the pediatrician simply said you've got to stop the night time feedings. period. she's not hungry, its just habit. And, its going to get worse at around 9 mos when babies develop more adult sleeping cycles and wake more frequently during the night. i felt the hairs on my back stand up in protest. i didn't like the advice. But, recognized that we should try it.....

Baby sleep training is about as controversial as it gets in the baby world:
Sears vs Ferber vs Cry It Out vs Baby Wise vs everything in between.

The aim is to get baby to be able to fall back asleep by herself. It should start with baby going to sleep by herself. We adjusted our evening routine so that milk came before story time. After story time, we turn out the lights, snuggle for a bit in bed and then I put Peanut in her crib while she's still somewhat awake. This was surprisingly easy. There was only about 5 evenings of more intense crying, standing, and crying. We'd go in, lay her down, rub her back/belly and walk out. Once, when it went on for more than 40 mins, I admittedly 'milked her down'.

The nighttime wakings were more of a struggle. When she woke up, we'd give her 5 mins or so to see if she calmed down. Usually she doesn't. Then, we'd go to her crib , lay her down and try the belly/back rub. It wasn't working - at least the first few nights. I'd often have to pick her up and rock her to sleep. It'd take like 40 mins before she settled back to sleep. Exhausting.

Now, about two weeks later, we've had 5 nights of no wakings. Last night, she woke at 4 am, papa went to rub and soothe. She slept for 1/2 hr. Mama's turn. She slept another 45 mins. Mama again. She slept until 6.30 when its morning milk time.

Not an easy path, but it can be done, and I feel in a gentle way.

Peanut's First Bed -- a cardboard box

Finland offers a very unique service for mothers-to-be in the form of a 'baby package' from the national social services (known as KELA). There is an option for all expecting mothers to chose a monetary grant of 140 EUR from the State intended to help them buy the basic baby neccessities OR you can select the 'baby package'. Most first time mothers opt for the baby package and its arrival is an eagerly anticipated part of pregnancy.

Packed with goodies galore....
In order to qualify for the baby package or the monetary benefit, mothers must have had a prenatal exam at their local health center, their pregnancy must have reached 154 days and they must submit the required forms to KELA. Once sent in, the wait begins.

When the notice finally arrives that your baby package is ready to be picked up at the post office there is still a few final moments of speculation - did I get last year's package or am I part of the group to get the 2005 package?! It makes all the difference when other new mothers spot you on the street.

When I picked my package up -- it was a 2004 model -- I was surprised at how large the carton actually was. Measuring about 70 cm x 45 cm it contained a mountain of baby starter gear. The contents of the box are carefully reviewed and selected by a panel of childcare professionals each year to provide baby with the bare neccessities for the early days. Since Peanut was our first baby, I was looking for guidance on what kind of clothing she would really need and was confident the baby package would enlighten us.

What we found in the box was a number of little baby outfits from pjs to a warm outerwear suit designed for Nordic winters; sample packs of diapers; baby's first nail scissors & hairbrush; blankets, sheets & a comforter; and even a few toys such as a rattle and a book of nursery songs. But, what was more unexpected were a few gifts for mom and dad: some sanitary pads and a package of condoms :-) There were also a number of booklets on breastfeeding, making your own baby food and general childcare. All in all a real treasure trove worth much more than the monetary benefit.

There has been some debate in the local paper about how unstylish the clothing is. I have to agree, it ain't very pretty stuff. Its all designed to be unisex and practical. The 2004 package had evidently chosen lime green as one of its theme colors. Some would argue - lime green - that's one of the hot spring colors this year. Yet, in the clothing it comes off as more discount store knock-off than top designer wear. The other side of the debate argues that today's generations are becoming too style conscious and should appreciate this package for its sturdy, practical items ensuring that every Finnish baby has the basics. And, fashion has nothing to do with that.

Once you make the decision to have your baby wear any of the clothing from the box - you are outwardly indicating your 'class year'. As I walk down the street and catch a glimpse of another lightblue/lime green outdoor suit on a baby, I know they are part of the 2004 alma mater.

I haven't yet decided if Peanut will wear the KELA outfits in public or its something we keep on inside the house.

... and its a bed!
And, the box itself converts into baby's first bed! At first the idea seemed really outrageous -- what, put my baby to sleep in a cardboard box??!! But, yes, it makes sense. When our little bundle came home from the hospital she was so small compared to the baby crib we had bought her - she was completely floating in the middle of giant mattress with nothing around her. We decided to put the KELA box inside her crib. Since the box comes with its own custom sized mattress, it was easy to make the sheets and blankets fit inside. Peanut has been sleeping comfortable in her box and I believe has felt more secure in the smaller space.

She's now nearly 4 weeks old and we often hear her little fists tap against the sides of the box as she changes positions and shifts from one side of the box to the other. One of her favorite sleeping positions has been to squirm her way up so that her head is solidly pushed against the top of the box. Economically, we saved money on not buying a Moses' crib or other baby-sized cot which we'd be looking at putting it away.

in a few weeks, she'll outgrow her "first bed", but until then, I'll appreciate the easy mobility of it and she'll continue to enjoy the comfy cozy space. And, they we'll use it start storing all those newborn outfits she has also outgrown.

For the 2005 package contents, see KELA's website at http://www.kela.fi/in/internet/suomi.nsf/NET/100502155308EH?openDocument