Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Blind dates

From "You know, there's a collegue of mine who knows someone you should meet....I think you two have a lot in common...." to personal emails with complete strangers from online forums to exchanging phone numbers at the library, I've never been on so many blind dates!

That is, until I became a mama.

You know how it goes, you agree a time & place to get together. That morning, you get yourself showered (not an everyday occurance!), fix your hair (also not everyday), put on some make-up and ironed clothes -- that are clean & match (sadly, definitely not an everyday occurance!). You get the babes into clean clothes, into the mini-van and head out to meet a stranger hoping that you will click so you can have future 'dates'.

I try to learn as much as I can about the blind date before we get there so I can think about some topics to discuss in case things fizzle. Sometimes, you don't have too much to go on.

Depending on who introduced you, we agree to meet in a public location (like the park) or even at one another's homes. You try to suggest a time when the little ones will be on their best behavior. "Oh, 10:00 am is great for us!"

Sometimes you get lucky and there's a sort of mama-magic in the air -- you have similar interests, child-raising perspectives, a sense of humor and the time flies. Its naptime before you know it.

Other times, you know within the first minutes, its going to be a loooonnng playdate. You struggle for what to say. You can't help but think "I would NEVER treat MY children like THAT". You try to keep your little ones away from all the hazards open in their home. You make up excuses "Oh, we have to leave early because she's got a bit of a cold coming on and I wouldn't want your little darlings to catch it ...." "I'll call you to set up another playdate" - but you never call.

Having moved as often as we now have, it takes a lot of energy & effort to find new friends for myself and Peanut & Tex. I find that I'm getting quicker at approaching mamas at the park and library. I've vowed to jump at every chance we get to go on blind dates introduced via friends. I think I've really developed my social abilities with the kids. Before, I've been more shy and content to just focus on the smaller group of friends I already had. I've been almost reluctant to try to meet strangers.

We've been very lucky and have developed several rich relationships from our blind dates. Only very rarely have we hit a dud.

With fall arriving, many local parenting groups are starting up activities and we're filling our calendar with events full of potential future dates. Now, I just need to work on my pick-up lines ;-)

No comments: